JGarman320C

The Two Dollar challenge is over, ending at 4 on thursday.  As 3:59 rolled around, I grabbed a bag of sea salt potato chips, and held it in my hand, counting the seconds before the clock struck 4.  At four, my mouth chomped down on a wonderfully  crisp and salty potato chip.  I breathed a sigh of relief, mixed with pleasure.  My week long ‘suffering’ was over.  but of course, I knew  I wasn’t truly suffering.  I ate less for a few days.  I showered in public.  Big whoop right?

If I were truly impoverished, living on $2 a day, there would be no potato chip, waiting for me at the end of the tunnel like a bright welcoming light.  But there is no tunnel.  There is no light.  All there is is my whiny bitching, and pretending like I had even a glimpse of the hardships the poor face.  

I cannot say if I’ve been radically altered, or changed forever because of this experiment.  But I do know I realized how just how good I have it.  My life is extremely privileged in comparison.  I’m thankful for that.  

But the only difference between me and them is an accident of birth.  That’s a scary thought.  So, I think about how I can help.  Because I’m not better.  Just once was luckier.

James, Over and out

So, yesterday I decided to Beg.  

I had never begged before.  Probably because I had no reason to.

So, I carved out a sign saying “donations,” and I plopped myself down on campus walk near a flowed bed.  It was 1:30 in the afternoon.  Not much traffic.

People walked by. sometimes, they’d completely ignore me.  Sometimes they’d stare at me in awe.  Some just laughed, as if I were a spectacle.  My favorites were the people who tried hard to avert their gaze, but I could see one I staring at the sideshow freak who was me. They were ashamed to walk by, stare coldly at me, and donate nothing, so instead they feigned obliviousness.

 I had a cup I had scavenged and was previously using to drink from.  I just held it out silently for a while.  No alms.

So I took to a mantra that I repeated over and over.  ”Tired, poor, and hungry” I chanted as I shook my empty cup.  The first girl to come by stopped by me and asked me if I was doing two dollar a day challenge.  I did’t want to deny it, so I said yes.  She pulled out $2 from her wallet and put it in my cup, and silently walked away.  I was very grateful, and I said so.  But even more so I was astonished.  Very charitable girl.  

The next person gave me a penny.  

“That’s more like what I was expecting”, I said to myself. 

As classes got out, more people came by, and my palty cup began filling.  I was surprised by the amount I was getting.  I had to sadly inform many of my friends that they could not donate to me because they were not strangers.

I later found out, upon reading the rules more carefully, that i had to donate all the money (which had been a suspicion all along). 

After 40 minutes, i stopped.  I counted my cash.  I had amassed $8.38.  I was overjoyed.  I couldn’t believe it.  As many TDC  colleagues pointed out to me, I made, on average, better than most jobs pay for our age group.    

I donated the money to La Ceiba.  But instead of money, I myself got valuable experience, and a learned a great truth:

Homeless people must make bank

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a nomad.  I carry my supplies with me at all times.  Everywhere I go, I carry my backpack with all my school supplies, my knapsack with my second change of clothes, and my food for the week (inside 4 plastic bags).  

I clunk when I walk, thanks to my dirty pot I’m carrying around.

I get some weird looks.  It’s not surprising though.

I can feel the toll of a nutrient-less diet now. I have a constant headache, it’s hard to focus, and I just blunder around aimlessly, it feels.

 As I write I have a can of green beans on the stove.  It’s 3 and a half servings, and I plan on eating it all now.  That could be because I have no good way to store it (except in my stomach), but probably because I’m very hungry.  I’ve gotten to the point where my stomach doesn’t rumble anymore to tell me I’m hungry.  Probably because I already know.

I plan to take a bath in the fountain tonight.  I hope.  Maybe tomorrow morning. The cleanliness issue is getting to me a little.  I get particular about having clean hair, and this week has been testing my resolve.

Tonight I have to sleep in my dorm, as I’m an RA on duty, and thus required to be in the building (and not in a shanty town).  It is the last night, and I wish I could have one more night in the shanty.  Last night was fun (as fun as it could be, mind you), and I was hoping for more than 1 night in the shanty town.  

Oh joy, my green beans are ready.  Time to gorge myself.

After a squirrel fiasco, I decided I needed more food.

My budget had $3.38 cents left.  I pondered how to stretch that as far as I possibly could. 

I decided I would buy another loaf of bread (Normally, were I not doing this $2 challenge, I would have trashed the entire tainted loaf.  However, I need the food).  

I went back and forth between Dollar General and Giant, comparing food prices.  I purchased another loaf from giant for $1.22

Besides my basic starch, I needed something to provide my some vitamins like Vitamin C and iron.  

At the DG, I found a great deal on 2 cans of French Green beans for a dollar, and a thing of raisins for a dollar.  With tax, my total for today was $3.28.   I came in 10 cents under budget for this week.  However, now I’m left with no bubble money in case of emergencies like squirrel attacks.

All I can say is, “Well, Crap”

I left my food in a bag outdoors.  I noticed the bag was ripped open, but I thought maybe someone had kicked it.  

Nope.

Turns out an animal (probably a squirrel) had chewed through the plastic bag of all the food, chewed through the bread bag, and eaten a chunk out of the corner of my loaf of bread.  Now I have a disease infested quarter loaf of bread.

I needed that bread more than they did.

I’m still on the fence about whether or not to try and salvage that part of the loaf.  I’m open to suggestions.

I suppose this mirrors the uncertainty and frequent disasters poor people face.  I definitely did not plan for this.  Now I have to be resourceful with my remaining food and cash.

I’ve come to only one logical conclusion: The Squirrels must Die.

I reiterate;  Well, Crap.

I never realized how much food I actually ate until I stopped eating it.  

Throughout any given day, I realized, I consume a lot.

In my daily routine, I grab a bite here, a snack there….little things to keep me going.  

Now I don’t have it.

WHERE’D IT GO?!?!?!

I’ve found myself now putting a great deal more thought into when I eat, where I eat, and most importantly, how much time it will take.  

My stomach has already began rumbling.  I guess it’s also not used to such a decrease in intake.

We’ll see how this goes.  I still need to buy fruit.  I was going to buy hot dogs (cheap and precooked) but someone reminded me I cannot use refrigeration.  Still working on a way around this.  

Perhaps I’ll salt my meat like people did before refrigeration.

Eww.  never mind

Today, I went to go scavenge some utensils for eating.  While I was nearby a dumpster, I tried to get into it to take some cardboard to make a mat for me to sleep on tonight.

I Couldn’t get in, because it was locked.

As I began walking away, I saw a guy looking at me strangely, because I was trying to break into a dumpster. 

I immediately felt a wave of embarrassment and shame.  I was ashamed that I was ‘caught’ trying to scavenge in a dumpster.

And the, almost immediately afterwards, I felt  ashamed of being ashamed.  What about the large word population that actually HAS to do that?

What about the people who rely on the discards of others to survive, I thought.  

In trying to emulate their way of living, I felt their shame.  I realized that they must feel this type of shame on a daily basis, for not being able to feed themselves, their families, or provide anything of substance.  

I couldn’t imagine living with that daily embarrassment and frustration.  

I don’t know how to feel anymore.

Today I made myself lunch.  Yesterday, I went to Giant and spent $4.62 on precious food.  I’ve never shopped so frugally in my life.  Every item purchased with great consideration.  Will this give me enough calories?  Will this supply my daily protein?  How many packs of ramen do I need?

These are all questions I asked myself when I went shopping.  I purchased a six pack of ramen noodles, a jar of peanut butter, and a loaf of bread.  I have $3.38 remaining out of my $8 in total ($2 a day for four days)

I spread the peanut butter on my two untoasted pieces of bread, and made myself ramen over the stove in a backpacking pot.  It’s quite small.  It will be my tool for boiling and consuming water for the next few days.  

I worry, because I drink water like a fish.  This is going to be time consuming.

I didn’t sleep in the shanty town last night, because I didn’t feel I had earned my keep there, by not helping set up (they set up early in the morning).  Tonight I hope to try it.

Mmmm Ramen Noodles.

I feel like a freshman again.

darn, I’m thirsty now.  I’m currently eating out of my water boiling pot.  I’ll need to finish eating, then boil water, and then wait for it to cool, BEFORE I can drink anything.

darn

I am starting the two dollar challenge week, to show others, but especially myself, what it’s like for the third of the world that lives in poverty on two dollars a day.

I am about to go shopping so I can gather all of my food for the week.  I’ve already picked out where I’m going to sleep, in a nice, consistently dry place under a great Magnolia Tree.  

I’m worried not about rain, but about warmth, as the sleeping bag I’m allowed to bring into the challenge is not that warm.  

Needless to say I’m very excited